You Can Never Go Home Again

This post is on location at my parent's house in Grand Prairie, Texas.

This afternoon I drove "home." I say "home" because Home is Abilene, Texas where I have spent the majority of the past decade and "home" is Grand Prairie, Texas where i spent the majority of the previous two decades and where my parents still live.

Everytime I come to visit, something has changed. Except to me, one who visits so infrequently, it seems as though a lot of things have changed. Because this is the place where I grew up though, it seems more than a bunch of new buildings. It appears as though the fundamental nature of the universe has been altered. This town is the place of my memory, and now that memory is disconnected from reality.

I love holidays, and I love spending time with my family at holidays, but I do not enjoy going "home." It reminds me that even the most fundamental things in the universe are changeable and not always for the better.

Supernatural

This one goes out to all those hard science people out there:

I am a historically, literarily, theologically bent fellow. As such I have very little problem accepting/assiging mystery to the world around me. I have been wondering, however, how do my friends in the sciences deal with the supernatural? The aim of the sciences is to measure, categorize, and define the world and thus (it appears to me) erase mystery.

Discuss . . .

And the Winner Is . . .

The winner for my [renamed] Winter Reading Project is Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. Melissa Jerkins who recommended it has history on her side as she and her husband Nathan are the ones responsible (and probably culpable) for recommending such classics as Steven King's The Gunslinger; Herman Wouk's The Caine Mutiny; and they are singularly responsible for my acting career.

Thank you all for your wonderful suggestions which I will also attempt to read as well.

Holy Crap, How many of these Things are There?

Numenorean


To which race of Middle Earth do you belong?
brought to you by Quizilla

Well, now I know. Don't we all feel better now?

My December Reading Project

To all my diehard fans out there who have been pestering me to post some more of my profound thoughts, I turn the tables. Here is your chance to be profound on MY blog. I'm going to let you my loyal friends and enemies pick out the books (2) which I will read during the December holidays. ACU was so kind to us this year and has given us 5 weeks instead of the usual 4 so I wish to read something good.

Here are the ground rules:

1) The book MUST tell a story (Fiction or Non-Fiction). I am not looking for a philosophical/ethical/theological treatise no matter how profound.

2) You MUST present coherent arguments for me to read it.

I will pick the winner (probably 3) and post their persuasive arguments on the front page of my blog for all to read. Seriously, you can't buy this kind of publicity. But you're welcome to make an offer.

So, Tell me what I should read and why.

A Question

I have spent much time during my TV watching years watching televangelists preaching that God wants me to be Healthy, Wealthy, and Happy. Yet my perspective on the will of God seems to suggest that the mission is more important than the man. I am left with this question: Is my personal happiness and success vital to participation in the mission of God, or is it merely a happy coincidence?

I would really like to hear what the one or two people who read my blog think about this question?

Harry

Back to the Grind

Tomorrow (Monday Aug. 1), I together with the other eight people on staff here at Smith-Adams Hall will be joining the other Residence Hall staffs at Buttman Methodist Encampment for RA camp 2005. In short I am looking at two days of happy fun and glorious tedium. Look for highlights on Wednesday.

Ramen Lite

Recently during a grocery getting excursion to super Wally world (Wal-Mart) I found a twelve (12) pack of ramen noodles for $1.20. That comes out to 12 cents a pack. This evening though I had a hearty meal of ramen noodles, and about an hour later I was once again ravenously hungry. This has led me to believe that Ramen noodles have great taste and are less filling.

The Gambler

(Originally published on my fantasy baseball league message board)

Is anyone else sick of the Kenny Rogers story? I know I am. I wish the media in the metroplex would get the memo and back off and let the man have some space and let the Rangers maybe have a run at the playoffs. Right now it seems that Rogers is target number one for cameramen looking to make a story, or just a quick buck. I hate the media and it's one-sided the player is the devil; the plucky camera guy or obscene audience member an innocent saint. People (especially players) don't just blow up for no reason. What did the cameraman do/say? What line did the fans in Oakland cross that sent a chair headed their way last year. Can we allow / treat our sports stars as human beings first and heroes later.

Acting Lessons - Epilogue

Well, we just finished striking the sets for the Abilene Summer Shakespeare fesitval. After a grueling two and a half hour performance we quickly changed into work clothes and began taking the past two months of our lives down.

It was fun to work that hard with my new closest friends, but boy am I hurting now and boy will I be hurting tomorrow.

Expect an upcoming post to reflect more perfectly upon the experience. For now I'm going to bed.

For A Raving Lunatic . . .

I Found a link to this blog on ESPN.com Page 2's Daily Links section. It's from the blog of Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban. While he usually puts on a public persona that is far from sane, he does demonstrate that at times he is capable of intelligent thought with this post. It's really good.

Click HERE to read the post.

The World's Largest Bible

I am working this summer at the circulation desk of the ACU library. For the most part this means I sit around checking my e-mail, posting on my blog, and handling the odd patron who needs to check something out or send an international fax or something.

About twice during my morning shift, however, I get to witness something really odd and slightly disturbing. The ACU welcome center gives campus tours to prospective students and their parents and this invariably includes a visit to the library. They take them upstairs and proclaim the academic virtues of the school and then they descend and show them our "claim to fame." The World's Largest Bible. It is enclosed in a glass case that is sealed and protected from damaging elements. Those on the tour come and gawk in amazement over a Bible so large it prevents actual use. They are amazed and even inspired by such a mammoth book.

Maybe it is the cynic in me, but I wonder, What's the point? What is the purpose of so massive a book? Are we so in awe of the scriptures that we must create such massive images of it and fawn over them in near worship? Would we rather idolize a book than embody a way of life?

"I pause for reply"

A Room with A View to A Murder

Last night I, together with about 10-15 of my friends from church, watched the movie "Hotel Rwanda" about the 100 days of Genocide that gripped that country in 1994 and left nearly a million people dead.

Afterward we talked about our reactions to the movie. There was a combined sense of shame, outrage, and powerlessness to do anything about it. In the following discussion prayer was mentioned several times, but I really didn't feel like we had a good grip on what that prayer was for, or even what it was supposed to do.

Why do we pray? Is prayer the cop-out for our inactivity? (Oh, I'll not help you but I will pray for you.) Do we pray just so we'll feel better about a situation? Is prayer ever really about us? These are the questions spawned by our discussion of the movie.

Discuss . . .

Acting Lessons

We just started week two of rehearsals for the Abilene Summer Shakespeare Festival production of Julius Caesar. Let me tell ya, acting is tough. You have to become a whole new person, or in my case two new people, who you most likely have never met. Then you have to take a text and put bones and muscle and flesh to it. It is enacting the encarnation. Words on a page become living breathing people and situations when acted. In this way the Christian is called to become an actor by taking the text of the gospel and putting flesh and bones on it and living it out so that people can see it.

happy holiday

Why is it that on days I do absolutely nothing, I feel the most tired?

To Fall on My Sword Part 2

So, I was thinking last night about what else I would "fall on my sword" for in ministry in the church. I came up with one more to the previous list.

3. The Centrality of the Eucharist in Worship. When Christians come together to worship God, they do so primarily to celebrate the Eucharist. Like baptism it is a ritual invested with a considerable amount of meaning. More than I have been able to explore in my two years as a member of the communion committee at Minter Lane Church writing Eucharistic Liturgy.

Well, there you have it. The things I would get fired for, or resign over.

To Fall On my Sword

After a recent (read 5 minutes ago) conversation with a fellow GST'er I decided I should post on what issues in ministry I would fall on my sword for.

1. The Right Women have to Participate fully in the life of the church. I will go to the mat for my sisters in Christ to be able to use their gifts within the life of the church. It is a shame that over half of the church should be silenced because we men are afraid to give up our power.

2. Baptism. I think that baptism is essential for salvation, but more importantly it is an important ritual and road-marker on the Christian journey. It is an act that is filled to overflowing with meaning and importance. In baptism, we reenact the gospel story in our lives and let Jesus have the claim on our lives. We have done a disservice to it by harping on its essentiality, and not its essence.

That's about all I can think of right now.

To Spoof or not to Spoof

I saw Star Wars: Episode 3, The Revenge of the Sith today. After that I went home and watched the Mel Brooks version. I must say that the Mel Brooks version is much better than the original. Now don't get me wrong. Episode 3 is much better than the first 2 (much like the 1980's Tampa Bay Buccaneers were better than, well I can't think who they were better than). I just believe that Mel Brooks has a better grip on what it takes to tell a story than does George Lucas. Good ole' George depended too heavily on computers to tell the story for him. The line between live action and cartoon was crossed so many times that it was hard to keep switching mental modes. That and Mel Brooks just knows comedy. Much like his Robin Hood Men in Tights, he successfully lampoons a higher budget but worse movie. So to all you nerds out there who are up in arms ready to storm my castle and burn me out with your torches and pitchforks, I say bring it. I would prefer to laugh than weep over the fall of a character I could never care for any day.

Upcoming Events

So, in case anyone out there cares to know what's going on in my life I'll tell you. Nothing. It's great. Right now I'm doing nothing and enjoying every fun-unfilled minute of it. But soon, I will be doing something. Starting in June I begin rehearsals for the Abilene Summer Shakespeare production of Julius Caesar. This will be my theatre debut and I am looking forward to it. I have two small roles (Flavius Act 1 and Artemidorus Act 4 I think). I'll be a spectator by the time they kill Caesar. I won't win an Oscar for my performance, but I look forward to having a good time. So, if any of you are bored in July and are nearby, come and see. I promise I'll be funny. (If the director lets me)

A Wave of Melancholy

I have just finished watching the latest cinematic version of Phantom of the Opera. It is a singularly great musical, and one which has tapped a well of emotion in me that I did not know existed. There is something about the story of a love lost, of love abandoned that touches me and calls forth my pity. I know what it means to be the phantom. To watch as the love of one's life walks away and pledges her love to another. This is not a fate to be wished upon one's worst enemies, one's most mortal of foes. I have heard a song that made my heart swell and burst and what do I now do with the pieces?

Postcards from the Edge

Well, I have finished yet another semester of graduate school and am now enjoying a quiet vacation of working at the ACU library and contemplating taking care of the two "I"'s on my transcript.

I know you must be asking: Harry, how can you be on vacation and working at the same time? Well, I'll tell you. I have just finished a year as the Assistant Residence Director at Smith Hall here at ACU. During that time I was semi-responsible for about 125 sophomore men and part of a staff of 10 people. Needless to say, the past nine months have been the most stressful to date. Now, I have a job where I work regular hours, and when I go home, work stays where it belongs . . . AT WORK!!

Well, I had better get back to sitting around trolling the internet and answering the occasional Library related question.

Good News

I just got a happy e-mail in my inbox. It said that I will receive my copy (pre-purchased) of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in my mailbox the very day that the book comes out. So guess what I'll be doing in July. If you guessed sitting outside on gorgeous summer mornings and reading a new book you guessed correctly.

This Is me Putting off Hebrew

Tonight I made a theological statement. "GOD . . . he's got his crap together!" Today in my class, "Job and the Literature of Faith and Doubt" we discussed the play Prometheus Bound by Aeschlyus. In it we discovered that Zeus is a selfish, sadistic, capricious, oppressive, vindictive, et cetera, and et cetera. After having spent the past 14 weeks discussing the book of Job it was impossible to not compare God to the gods. By comparison, God really does have his crap together. While one would not necessarily call him 'cuddly' after reading Job, we do at least get the picture that he genuinely cares for the world he made and the creatures he put in it. Unlike the eternally wise Zeus, God does not use his sovreignty over the world to dominate it, but to care for it.

A Good Poem

I and Pangur Ban, my cat,
‘Tis a like task we are at;
Hunting mice is his delight
Hunting words I sit all night

Better far than praise of men
‘Tis to sit with book and pen;
Pangur bears me no ill will,
He too plies his simple skill.

‘Tis a merry thing to see
At our tasks how glad are we,
When at home we sit and find
Entertainment to our mind.

Oftentimes a mouse will stray
In the hero Pangur’s way;
Oftentimes my keen thought set
Takes a meaning in its net.

‘Gainst the wall he sets his eye
Full and fierce and sharp and sly;
‘Gainst the wall of knowledge I
All my little wisdom try.

When a mouse darts from its den,
O how glad is Pangur then!
O what gladness do I prove
When I solve the doubts I love.

So in peace our tasks we ply,
Pangur Ban, may cat, and I;
In our arts we find our bliss,
I have mine and he has his.

Practice every day has made
Pangur perfect in his trade;
I get wisdom day and night,
Turning darkness into light.

Anonymous Irish copyist from a ninth-century manuscript of Reichenau

Healthcare ministry Diary Entry 1

This semester I am taking a class in healthcare ministry. In addition to class time I am required to spend two hours a week in visiting people in the hospital. I just finished my first 5 week rotation on the Cardiac Care wing and now I find myself wandering the halls of the oncology wing.

The phrase "genuine presence" or "authentic presence" has been thrown out to describe the nature of our ministry to the people in the hospital. This is a difficult concept to realize as I go from room to room, changing people and situations more often than socks. Very rarely are the same people there from time to time, and yet I am called to be God's representative to that situation. I believe that in this place of ignorance and incompetence is room enough for the Spirit of God to work in me to minister to the patients.

H

If I were a pirate . . .

My pirate name is:

Mad Harry Flint

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

Habakkuk's Prayer

I think I'm coming to know how Habakkuk the prophet felt when at the beginning of his book he said,

"How long, O LORD , must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, "Violence!" but you do not save? ³ Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds. ⁴ Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails. The wicked hem in the righteous, so that justice is perverted."

This morning as I was taking my shower it hit me, "Why hasn't the current president been impeached for lying to the public about his justification for war?" We attempted to impeach a president for getting a blowjob in the oval office, but when it comes to unjustly going to war and lying to the American people to cover it up we smile, nod, and re-elect him.

When I got out of my shower I heard on NPR, the story found here of the deposed head of Hewlett Packard who got a golden parachute that surely must sound obscene to the thousands of workers fired while she was chief.

And time and html would fail me if I continued.

At this point I must stop and remember Habakukk. He cried out to God about the injustice in the world and God told him he was doing something about it. It is very easy to get caught up in all the injustices and forget that God is still God and Jesus is still Lord. We do what we can and have faith that God will act just as he promised.

H

Long Live Al Capone

Today I finally figured out why I like Al Capone. Al Capone used this day where we celebrate romantic love to introduce a few of his closest rivals to a few of his closest fish friends. Valentines day is no Holiday for ole Al, it's a workday. So here's to all you coupled people who have a holiday all to yourself. Remember the rest of us folks for whom today is just another working day. I wouldn't want you to end up in a garage on the southside of Chicago facing the wrong end of a couple of Tommy guns.

Today, here's to better living through machine guns ;-)

H

An Epiphany

This week I came to an understanding about myself. I live in a very closed off world. I walk around wearing armor that would make the most medieval of knights jealous. Normally I wouldn't consider it that much of a problem, but I'm currently participating in several ministries (hospital chaplain, assistant dorm director) that require me to relate to people. This makes the personal armor I wear a liablility. Taking it off though is a frightening thing. It means I have to deal with who I really am, and I'm not so sure I like that all that much. Well, I guess this is the first step.

Here's to better living through blogging.

H

The Return of Noah's Flood

Last night I got to experience one of the true joys of living in the dorm. For those of you who don't know, I am the assistant residence director of Smith Hall at ACU. This means that I get to live with 125 of my closest sophomore male friends. Well last night I got home from class at dinner in the lobby and went to my room. Upon entering my room I discovered that a lake had formed in the center of my room. This lake had formed when the main sewer line under my room had gotten clogged and backed up into my room and the one adjacent to it. The water was about a quarter of an inch deep the whole length of my room. I look at it as God telling me he wants me to live a simpler life and I had to move, with the help of two of my good friends, a BUNCH of stuff out of the way of the marauding water.

H

West Texas

I don't let anyone ever complain to me that West Texas is ugly. I've heard a bunch in my time here in Abilene. There aren't many trees, or there's just nothing here on the south tip of the Great Plains to look at. Tonight a buddy of mine and I went for a little drive while listening to some good music. We were able to watch the end of the sunset while driving around the north-east corner of Lake Fort Phantom Hill. The peach colored sky was reflected in the rippled surface of the lake so that the whole area was virtually exploding with color. A person would have to be dead to not see the beauty in that most serene picture.

H

A Little Bit About Me

For those of you just cruising on by I present this little bit of information not found in the enigmatic profile. My name is Harry Conner. I am a Graduate Student pursuing a Masters of Divinity from Abilene Christian University. I enjoy reading, bird watching, listening to music, and observing life. So that's kindof what you can expect from this here blog. Oh Yeah, Abilene is in West Texas and I have been here long enough to have gone seriously native. (Meaning I'm contemplating buying cowboy boots for everyday wear.) I look forward to our future interaction.

H

Here I Go Again On My Own

This is my second swing at the blogging thing. We'll see if I can't be more intentional about it this time around. To any loyal readers who are picking this up again, thank you.